Flirt and Hurt
by DuckTailXox
Summary: Dean Winchester was not having a good day. One angel wanted him to be his bitch, another one wanted his brother to end the world and yet another insisted that he get up off his ass and do something. It was supposed to be just another case, and Dean certainly didn't expect to end up in Cardiff, let alone meet the people he did. Written with therealjainasolo. T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this is a story I have written with my incredibly talented friend therealjainasolo (please check out her account her writing is epic!). Basically I had an idea, she developed it into something amazing, I wrote a basic outline and she turned it into an amazing story! Seriously, she turned nothing into everything! So yeah, I hope you like this story cause I love it! Two of my favourite things: Team Freewill and Captain Jack's coat. Right on with the story!**

* * *

Dean Winchester was not having a good day.

It had all started when Castiel had appeared in his and Sam's motel room demanding that they get off of their asses (not Cas' words of course: the angel's vocabulary hadn't progressed to that level just yet), stop moping and find a case or he would. Dean had merely raised his eyebrows at their feathered friend's forcefulness but Sam had agreed that it was time they got up and did something. It simply wouldn't do to sit around brooding about their inevitably tragic future when there were things to hunt and people to save. Family business and all.

That was what Sam said right up until Cas disappeared with a flutter of his wings. As soon as the angel had gone, however, the younger Winchester had flopped back on his bed and covered his face with his pillow, declaring that there was no way he was going on a case for the foreseeable future lest Lucifer find him and make him his bitch. Screw the Apocalypse. Dean had agreed seeing as he was still rather pissed at the fact that he had to be Michael's bitch. And that had been the end of that.

Or so Dean thought.

The brothers decided to go out and get pie, Dean's ultimate safe food. But, because the universe seemed to hate him, the store had run out so he was stuck with some rather forlorn looking pastry that Sam had picked out instead. A rather poor substitute in Dean's opinion. Therefore, he wasn't in the best of moods when the two returned to their motel room to find Cas standing by the door waiting for them. Unfortunately for the angel, he hadn't found the best place to announce himself and so when he cleared his throat from his position _in the shadows behind the door_, he immediately had a knife pressed to his throat by Sam.

"Dear God!" Sam exclaimed when he saw that the 'intruder' was in fact the trench coat wearing angel.

"No, I am not God, Sam," Cas explained without so much as a flinch for the cold metal pressed against his throat. "I thought we had made it clear that he was impossible to find? Do you not recall my so called 'bender'?"

Sam sighed, moving his knife away from Cas' neck and walking towards the bed to sit down, all the while muttering about the 'dumb angels that never learn not to sneak up on people unless they wanted a knife through their throat'.

"Why are you here anyway, Cas?" Dean asked, ignoring the muttering from his brother and moving towards the centre of the room.

"I told you to get and case and you did not. Therefore, I am here with one for you," Castiel said rather disapprovingly but Dean refused to cower under the angel's stare. Cas moved from his position in the shadows, finally twigging that it didn't make the Winchesters comfortable if he stood there.

"So what have you got?" Sam asked, over the shock (and slight humour), that he had nearly speared his friend in the throat.

"What happened to Little Miss 'I don't want to go on a case in case I become Satan's meat suit'?" Dean grumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

"Hey, you're the one who broke my laptop," Sam retorted. (It was true: Dean had gotten rather annoyed at the entire situation and of course the closest object with which he could vent his frustration had been Sam's laptop. It was only after it was lying in a heap of twisted plastic and wires that Dean had realised what he had done…Sam had moaned for two days straight.) "Plus, you have to admit that it is getting kind of boring."

"It's been less than a day Sam!" Dean exclaimed but at the raised eyebrows he received from his younger brother, he conceded. "Okay, it's been a_ little_ boring. What have you got Cas?"

"A shape shifter. I have been informed that you have a certain dislike for them," Castiel replied, now seemingly extremely interested in the contents of the sink.

"'A certain dislike'?" Dean mimicked Castiel's gravelly voice. "I hate the bastards! Do you know that we were on the run for two years because one of those sons-of-bitches convinced the police that I was a damned murderer? I had to go into hiding for four weeks because they even had a god awful picture of me! _Four weeks, _Cas! Four weeks of crappy microwave meals Sam had to bring me. No sun, no Impala. Hell, I've never missed _walking_ more in my life than then! So would you like to talk to me again about my 'certain dislike'?" Dean finished his little rant, his voice growing slightly hoarse. Sam looked at him with raised eyebrows, not looking as if this were anything completely out of the ordinary, but with a look that clearly said 'Dean, _really?' _Cas however, merely blinked owlishly at the elder Winchester from where he stood rather awkwardly in the middle of the room and this prompted Dean to clear his throat and grab his keys.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Well, what are we waiting for? We best move now if we want to be there by morning." Dean picked up his duffle bag and moved towards the door but Castiel's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Actually, it isn't that simple Dean," he said. Dean looked back at him with a questioning look on his face and Sam stood up from his bed frowning.

"Spill," Dean demanded.

"What would you like for me to spill? I hardly think that throwing a substance on the ground will be of any use to us, but I shall give it some thought," Castiel remarked and Dean sighed, wondering whether children were easier to deal with than angels. (_Yes_, the answer was yes.)

"Tell is why 'it isn't that simple'," Dean prompted.

Cas frowned but answered nonetheless. "It is not possible to drive there because it is in Cardiff."

Dean looked alarmed at the fact that the only way of getting there was via flight or with Cas' 'angel mojo'. Either didn't exactly look enticing to him.

"Did you just say…Cardiff?" he choked out, completely still. Cas nodded gravely.

"As in, the UK, Cardiff?" Dean continued, his reaction unnerving the angel which was ridiculous because it was hardly as if Dean could physically harm him (he's only end up hurting himself…again). "Like, across an _ocean_?" Once again, Cas nodded mutely.

"Calm down Dean," Sam smirked and Dean threw his brother a glare. "_We're going_: I've always wanted to go to Cardiff. I hear the Roald Dahl Plass is really cool!" Sam grabbed his coat and gave his brother a look that said there was no arguing with him on this one. Dean would either have to like it or lump it.

"You're a Roald Dahl fan? Figures," Dean muttered before turning his attention back to the angel. "So I guess this means we're gonna have to be zapped then?"

"Unless you would prefer to take an aeroplane?" Castiel asked but Dean shook his head vigorously. He only hoped that Cas would actually get them to the right place this time and not have to walk for half an hour because they were in the wrong place.

"This time, you're staying _with_ us so we don't have to walk for years if you drop us off in the wrong place." Cas made to interrupt, possibly stating that they didn't have to walk for _years, _but Dean stopped him by adding rather forcefully, "You're buying me pie when we get there. And not some soggy gross thing from a germy trailer parked in the middle of god knows where."

Cas nodded and gestured for the brothers to stand next to each other. "I should have enough power to take us without any mishaps," he explained and touched both of their foreheads. All three disappeared with the motel room left undisturbed, as if two demon hunters and an angel of the Lord had never been there.

* * *

There was a small grunt as Sam fell on top of Dean in what looked like an abandoned warehouse, presumably in Cardiff. Dean pushed his brother off of him and stood up, dusting himself down, quickly followed by Sam. Castiel stood stoically a few metres away from them, obviously unaffected by their method of travel.

"You sure this is the right place Cas?" Dean asked, looking around the warehouse to see nothing out of the ordinary. Sam got the EMF reader out of his pocket and turned it on. Of course, the device went absolutely crazy.

"Yep, this is the place," Sam quipped. Castiel began to walk away from them with strides that even Sam with his longer legs struggled to keep up with.

"I really hope this is Cardiff. Think about it Sammy, hot chicks with British accents," Dean chattered excitedly, jogging to keep up with the others.

"I thought you didn't want to be here? And they'll have Welsh accents, which are kinda different from English ones," Sam questioned, rolling his eyes; trust his brother to automatically think of girls.

"Whatever," Dean dismissed. "I'm just seeing the perks here Sammy. We get the job done and before Cas zaps us back to sunny lil' America, why not have a little fun with the local cuisine?" Dean gave his brother a slightly insane grin and Sam just nodded, knowing it was best not to say anything. Suddenly, Castiel stopped walking, causing the brother to walk right into him. If he had been human, Cas would have been pushed over but being the angel that he was, he stood completely still and it was Dean and Sam that were knocked back by the force with which they had walked into him. They looked around to see why Cas had stopped and that was when they heard the voice.

"Tosh, Ianto, would you hurry up and get over here? I swear to God, by the time you two are done, this thing will be long gone." An American accent came from the doorway.

Dean and Sam froze. "I thought you said we were in Cardiff?" Dean asked, tapping Cas in the shoulder. Castiel didn't reply that he had never said such a thing, instead murmuring,

"We are."

"Then why am I hearing an American accent?" Dean muttered as the door creaked open and a team of people walked in, equipped with high tech gear far too clever for their time and being led by a man in a long blue trench coat.

"Well, this looks like fun," Dean quipped. This was turning into such a good day(!)

**AN: So, what did you think? Do you love it as much as I do? Please give us a review and tell us what you think! We don't mind helpful criticism.**


	2. Chapter 2

The American and his buddies moved further into the warehouse, the American wearing a perfectly fitted military-style navy blue trench coat, and with his back to the brothers and their angelic companion, still gesturing towards his friends. Cas stood stock still as he stared at the man, his brow furrowed. Clearly something about this man agitated the angel. There was something not right about him, something…unnatural. He had behind him three other people and they _had _noticed the intruders. One, a dark haired woman with a smattering of freckles on her nose, tapped the American on the shoulder and he turned around to face the Winchesters and Cas, his eyes widening as he took them in. Sam swallowed whilst Dean muttered a string of profanities under his breath. For a moment, there was a still silence as the two groups of people stared at each other.

The American dude, aside from having a rather tasteful choice in coats, was wearing old military style clothing: a blue shirt with braces and dress trousers with boots. His brown hair stood up in spikes and his eyes, at first glance, appeared to be merely a sparkling blue. However at a closer glance, they seemed to hold a deeper sadness that only came from living for far too long. Castiel knew the feeling well and could only wonder at what this poor man had seen. Out of the other strangers two were women and one a man. The man was wearing a suit and red tie whilst the other woman was Japanese and standing with her nose pressed so close to a screen that she barely noticed anyone else. The first woman- the one with freckles- stood studying the men and angel, her dark eyes narrowing curiously as she took them in.

The American also stared at these three men- at least they appeared to be men- and couldn't help but find them attractive. The shortest of the three, with piercing blue eyes and a pale trench coat, not so unlike his own, he found to be particularly interesting. It didn't matter to him that this stranger appeared to have a slight…almost _repulsion_ to him. The other two he assumed to be brothers, the shorter of them wearing jeans that pronounced his bowed legs and toned figure rather delightfully. The taller- seriously, he was like a freaking mountain- possessed a beautifully muscular figure and were those dimples he saw? The man could only marvel at the tricks these guys could pull. That was, until the taller brother cleared his throat rather awkwardly and he was shaken out of his fantasising.

Sam searched through his pockets and picked out a fake ID, before offering it up to the team.

"I'm Johnny Cairns and these are my partners-"

He was cut off by the man in the suit holding up a hand.

"Actually, that's a fake ID," he said matter-of-factly, his voice revealing a thick Welsh accent.

"Wh-No it's not," Sam stuttered.

The Welsh man raised his eyebrows. "Yes it is."

The American snorted, disguising it with a cough. Dean elbowed Sam in the side, muttering, "Nice one Sammy," before grinning awkwardly at the strangers.

"Uh… we come in peace?" he offered, shrugging his shoulders. Castiel dragged his eyes away from the American to throw a confused glance at the eldest Winchester. There was something seriously bugging him about this stranger, but he just couldn't put his finger on it (Even if Cas didn't exactly know what that expression even meant…).

The Torchwood team glanced at their leader to see his reaction and it was something that no one expected. He started laughing. Not just an 'Oh, that's rather amusing' chuckle, but full on, hard to breathe, 'I think I've just broken my lungs because I'm laughing so hard' _cackling_.

After a rather awkward minute, he calmed down and straightened up, before pointing at the Winchesters and Castiel. "_Alright_," he grinned. "Well, _we'll _be on our way."-He gestured to his team and himself before pointing back towards them-_ "You_ never saw us!"

With that, he pointed for his team to follow him and began to stride towards the Winchesters before walking straight past them and carrying on, his team casting them apologetic glances as they went.

"Oh, and I'd get outta here if I were you guys," he called back. "It's about to get a lil' violent."

Dean and Sam watched the team go, completely flabbergasted at what had just happened. As soon as they had disappeared around a corner, Dean rounded on the other two.

"Did that just- did you- _What just happened there_?" he demanded, throwing his arms up. Sam just blinked, still feeling shell-shocked. He was also pretty sure that the American had been checking him out and wasn't sure whether to feel violated or flattered.

"I believe that someone just stole our job," Castiel pitched in, sounding annoyed.

"Oh, you _believe_ so do you?" Dean mocked, running his hand through his hair. "Well, that isn't allowed. No guy in freaking _suspenders _is stealing a job from_ me_!"

Dean began to march in the direction the team had disappeared into and Sam and Cas had no choice but to follow the determined hunter. However, they didn't have to go far before they crashed into Dean who had in turn crashed into the back of a rather irate American.

The reason? Well, there was no obvious shape shifter to be seen. Only a pile of gooey skin on the ground.

_Lovely._

Captain Jack Harkness was having a rather entertaining day, to put it mildly. The case was a simple one; a shape shifter had fallen through the Rift and then decided to piss off people by disguising itself as someone and then robbing banks. Clearly, the innocent parties who had been arrested for armed robbery and a few counts of murder hadn't exactly been thrilled. Annoying bastards, those shape shifters. Thankfully, there were only so many banks in Cardiff and the team had managed to track the shape shifter to a warehouse not too far from the Hub that specialised in delivering_ gloves_ of all things.

Owen had decided to stay at the Hub, mumbling something about some autopsies he wanted to catch up on or whatever. Secretly Jack wondered whether the doctor had decided to stay behind because he was still not feeling entirely comfortable with being…well, _dead_. The other three had been perfectly compliant and he had driven to this warehouse expecting to have an evening of killing a shape shifter followed by a beer in the pub and, for the luckier ones, a nice quiet evening with their loved ones. They certainly were not expecting to run into the warehouse to be confronted with three rather confused looking men. Still, they were attractive ("Oh come on Ianto, don't tell me you couldn't see it! I think the one with the green eyes was checking you out! Not that I'm _jealous _but still." "…Shut up Jack…") and none of them had seemed like a threat and so Jack had been quite happy to bid them farewell and carry on his way.

Well, that was what he had thought.

Unfortunately, Dean Winchester was nothing if not determined and in no way would he allow this…this…_jackass_ to do him out of a job. Especially when said job involved a shape shifter.

These men could quite possibly have been the biggest threat the Torchwood team had ever faced.

But of course, they didn't know that at the time.

Jack wasn't in the best of moods to begin with when Dean Winchester walked smack bang into his back due to the fact that the shape shifter had completely disappeared. The only thing that even indicated towards its existence was the pile of gunk on the floor that had once been its skin. This also meant that the beast had changed its appearance yet again. It could be _anyone_.

"Oh shit dude, I'm sorry," Dean mumbled as he saw the slightly murderous look on the Captain's face at his collision with the man's back. Dean made to brush down Jack's coat apologetically but was stopped by Jack throwing up his hands. An easy grin appeared on his face as he took in Dean, Sam and Cas.

Any one of them could be the shape shifter.

Best drug them all, just to be safe.

"Ianto, could you pass me the retcon injections?" Jack held out his hand where the ever obedient Ianto quickly placed the three needles. He had designed a new type of retcon that only knocked out aliens but didn't wipe any memories. However, the fact that it was so strong that it was able to knock out every type of alien the team had ever encountered made up for this.

"Alright fellas, this won't hurt a bit," Jack grinned and threw the three needles in quick succession at the three men. They had been designed to attach on to the nearest living being that wasn't any member of Torchwood. (The process of getting them to work had been incredibly stressful and was full of Owen screaming that he was _dead _and therefore the drug wouldn't leave his damn system, so "for God's sake, get them away from me!")

Jack had formulated a quick plan in his head that consisted of knocking out the three men, taking them back to the Hub where they would determine and contain the shape shifter before properly retconning the other two and letting them go back to wherever they had come from (America by the sounds of it…). Overall, it was quite a good plan for one that had been thought of in a split second.

All three were hit by the needles, not being given a chance to properly react before a needle was sticking out of their chests. Sam and Dean merely looked down at the contraptions before they hit the ground, completely unconscious. Castiel however did not. He watched alarmed as the Winchesters fell before turning to the shocked group in front of him. It was only then that he noticed the needle stuck in his chest. He yanked it out without so much as a wince, much to the surprise of the Torchwood agents seeing as that wasn't supposed to be possible, before throwing it on the floor and casting a murderous glare towards the people in front of him.

"What did you do to them?" he thundered, his eyes flashing dangerously. It was only now that the Torchwood team got even the slightest glimpse of the soldier that Castiel truly was. The angel was truly worried for his human friends, despite the fact that he could still hear their heartbeats signalling that they were still alive. For now at least.

"Are you sure that was the highest dosage?" Jack murmured to Ianto, not taking his eyes off of the furious angel. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Ianto nod and gulp. _Shit_. Now they were in trouble; they had a creature stronger than any they had ever faced before…and he was pissed off.

"Great plan Jack, well done," Jack muttered sarcastically to himself, searching his brain for something to do. He came up more clueless than before.

"They'll be alright if we can get them back to our base. You can come with us so that you can see they'll be okay," Tosh spoke up quickly, making Jack sigh in relief. Of course Toshiko would be able to save him from impending doom. Cas looked nervously down at Dean, whose head rested next to his foot, before turning to face Sam who was lying face down, looking to the entire world as if he had merely collapsed from exhaustion.

"Very well. But if you hurt them further in any way at all, you will all be dead before you can open your mouth to apologise," Castiel stated, his eyes darting from the Winchesters' prone bodies towards the group. Jack took this as his cue to move and he hoisted the taller man onto his shoulders. Ianto quickly did the same for the other, eyes nervously watching the man in the trench coat. As Ianto lifted the weight onto his shoulders, he buckled briefly causing the man's head to hit the floor, making Ianto wince and Castiel to growl warningly at him. Ianto mouthed an apology before shifting the man more stably onto his shoulders and rushing towards the SUV as quickly as he physically could. Tosh followed, with Castiel behind as he seemed to be more comfortable around the technician than any other member of the team, and then Gwen who kept her eyes trained on him whilst Jack brought up the rear with Sam on his shoulders.

The team quickly exited the warehouse and got to the SUV. Jack offered the spare seat to Cas who stood statuesquely by the door with his eyes trained on the Winchesters who lay inert in the back. He shook his head and, to the complete bewilderment of the whole team, simply vanished. Jack blinked, having to remind himself that he had seen way stranger, before getting into the driver's seat and driving as quickly as he dared back to the Hub. He only prayed to God that the unknown man hadn't gone to call for backup and that the other two wouldn't wake up and kill him. And to think, this case was supposed to be simple.

But then again, when were they ever?


	3. Chapter 3

The Torchwood team arrived quickly back at the Hub without any further interruptions from the trench coat wearing man. Moving the two men into the base however, was a different story; manoeuvring them out of the SUV, through the tourist office and into the concealed Torchwood Hub was an intricate and difficult task. What didn't help matters was the uneasy feeling that, whilst the unknown creature protecting the men was nowhere to be _seen_, there were eyes watching their every move, making sure that they were doing nothing wrong. Jack mused that it was almost as though God were watching them…but then he shook off this ridiculous thought. All of the terrible things he had seen, the vicious people he had met, the whole fact that he _couldn't die; _how could God possibly exist if they did?

Eventually though, the team crashed their way rather ungracefully into the Hub, much to the confusion of Dr Owen Harper.

"Hi gu-_what the bloody hell is this_?" he yelped, his voice raising several levels in pitch, nearly dropping the test tube in his hands. Owen had only intended to come out to greet the team and certainly wasn't expecting to see two unconscious men- well; he _hoped_ they were unconscious- slumped over Jack and Ianto.

Jack, who had the taller man slung over his shoulder and was starting to go red from the weight, choked out, "Ask Tosh. Can't talk. Very heavy. Trench coat. Oi Vey…"

Tosh looked helplessly at her boss as he continued on his way to the cells, Ianto following him and Gwen looking nervously between Tosh and Jack. After a moment's hesitation and a cautious nod from Tosh, Gwen hastily followed Ianto, all the while watching for any sign that the two men were waking up. Owen and Tosh watched the trio disappear into the cells, Owen with varying degrees of confusion and perhaps a tad of admiration written on his face.

"Well Tosh? Would _you_ care to explain why I just watched our boss and coffee boy drag a pair of cowboys into the cells? I thought we were looking for just the_ one_ shape shifter?" Owen rounded on Tosh the moment they were alone. She sighed and opened her mouth to begin to regale their resident doctor with the events of that evening.

"Ianto! For God's sake be careful!" Gwen hissed, watching as the Welshman dropped the shorter of the men rather unceremoniously into the cell. She had realised how the trench coat wearing man seemed to have more of an attachment to the shorter man, although if his watchful eyes were anything to go on, his bond with both of them men was impossibly strong. It was crucial that they didn't get as much as a scratch on these men. Jack had managed to put the taller man- whose hair was looking considerably like that of woman's Gwen mused- into the corner of the cell where he slumped against the wall. The other man was placed on the cot against one of the walls, his arm dangling off the edge and was that dribble she saw? Gwen smirked, before remembering that the team had no idea who or what these people were. It was kind of adorable though.

Jack, who was frowning as he stared at the man with shorter hair, was feeling an uneasy sense of familiarity. He was sure that he had seen both of these men before but for the life of him he could not place where. The men were American, so perhaps he had seen them on his travels to the States? But…no. That didn't seem right. For some reason, all he could think of when looking at them was…a pit. Screaming. Agony. The taller one in a cage. The shorter one yelling a name.

_Sam._

Jack shook his head.

He couldn't think like that. No.

It was just a coincidence. He had never seen these people before. He didn't know their _names_.

Not at all.

Right?

Ianto placed a hand on his arm, shaking him out of his strange thoughts. "Jack?" the man asked softly, concern written over his features.

Jack blinked himself back to the present and grinned, reassuring him that he was fine. "Let's get outta here before they wake up. That is _not _a conversation I want to have unprepared," he chuckled but both Gwen and Ianto noticed the strain in his voice. They exchanged a look as they watched their leader stride out of the cell but chose to say nothing. This was Jack and it required a lot of work to get him to talk when he didn't want to. They would just have to wait.

Good job they were both pretty patient. (Well, Gwen liked to _think _she was but the reality was a little more skewed.)

The three shuffled back up the stairs and into the Hub, eager to stay away from the men until they knew exactly what they were. Tosh was sitting next to a rather dazed looking Owen who, after being told what had happened, had said that she should run a scan on the men. Tosh had grumbled that she was going to do that anyway and now the two were watching the scanner. The rest of the team huddled around the cell monitors, watching the men nervously. All five ignored the sound of fluttering wings, putting it down to the dodgy generators or Myfanwy making a nest again.

However, none of them could ignore what the sound heralded: the trench coat wearing man appearing in the cells, peering down at the men to see if they were ok, but not before shooting a glare at the cameras.

Dean awoke with a start, instantly feeling as though he was being watched and jumping- well, tripping- out of the cot he had found himself on to see if Sam was there, if he was okay. When he saw that his brother was unconscious and sprawled out on the floor, he breathed out a sigh of relief but the feeling was quickly replaced by a surge of anger. What the hell had happened?!

They weren't in the abandoned factory that was for sure. Instead, the Winchesters had found themselves in a small cell, with a glass wall on one side and yellow coloured rock surrounding the rest. Dean wrinkled his nose in disgust: it _stank _of sewage in here. He narrowed his eyes, squinting through the terrible lighting to see what was on the other side of the glass but couldn't make out anything in the gloom.

Groaning caused Dean to turn back around and to be nearly hit in the face by an angel. Cas was standing far too close again.

Dean coughed, gesturing for the angel to move out of his personal space. Cas took the hint and stepped back, allowing Dean to see that the source of the groaning had been Sam who was awake and rubbing his head.

"What happened Cas?" Dean asked, his voice sounding rougher than usual, looking towards the angel.

"After the two of you were knocked unconscious, the American and his team transported you to his base in one of those contraptions with wheels," Castiel replied, frowning as he tried to remember the name of the vehicle. Sam stood up slowly, leaning on the wall for support and staggered over to his brother.

"Great. Or, as Bobby would say: _balls_. They're gonna run tests on us or somethin'," Dean sighed, shaking his head and sitting down, seeing nothing better to do. He felt like kicking the wall but even that seemed pointless. Castiel looked at Dean, confusion glazing his eyes.

"I do not understand. What do testicles have to do with this situation? I hardly think that they will run tests on _those. _Will they?" the angel sounded alarmed.

(Up in the Hub raucous laughter could be heard and the pained grunt of Owen falling out of his chair in his hysteria.)

Dean groaned and put his head in his hands. "_Mother of God."_

Sam smiled slightly. "Just an expression Cas." The angel nodded in understanding, although his confusion at the human race was only deepened. "So what are we gonna do? Can you zap us outta here?"

Castiel opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by Dean who jumped up from his seat on the cot. "NO...I mean, no. They'll probably come and get us when they realise that we're human and that_ you"-_Dean motioned to Cas warningly- "probably won't harm them."

"You just don't wanna get zapped twice in the same day!" Sam complained.

"Shut up."

"Fine," Sam grumbled. "So what's the plan? We gonna lie or tell the truth?"

Dean looked affronted. "Why the hell would we tell the _truth_?"

Sam pointed behind him through the glass. "Cos there's a camera watching us and it's _probably _heard every word that we've said."

Dean whirled around and cursed his eyesight when he saw the blinking light from the camera that he had not seen earlier. "Ah _crap_."

"Plus, they seem like experienced hunters. I think they know what they're doin' Dean," Sam insisted.

"I do not think that we should tell them the truth. I suggest that we wipe their memories of us and go on our way. I do _not _think that they will cooperate," Castiel interjected, making the brothers turn around. Did he not hear about the cameras?

The Winchesters exchanged weary glances.

"Cas," Dean said slowly, watching the angel carefully. "What happened after we collapsed? _What did you do_?"

The angel looked nervous, fidgeting and looking everywhere but at the brothers. Dean felt a bad sense of foreboding.

"_Cas_," he warned. "Did you threaten them?"

"I _may _have threatened that should they injure either of you, that I would smite them. It is not of import," Castiel waved his hand, now seemingly interested in a spot behind Dean's head. "Although, I did not use the word smite," he added as an afterthought. "Perhaps _kill_?" Cas made a face, looking sheepish.

Dean threw up his hands, exasperated and Sam started to massage his temples, feeling a headache coming on.

"Well that is _fantastic," _Dean muttered sarcastically, sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor of the cell. Sam joined him, sliding his long legs so that they were scrunched up in front of him, and leaning his head against the wall. The two of them looked forlorn at best and Castiel was beginning to understand what feeling awkward was like.

Perhaps they shouldn't have come here.

**AN: Thanks for reading this far! As per usual, reviews are much appreciated! **


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